Currently in Tampa, with Adam and brothers and figuring out what the hell happens next in my life.
The not for profit I work for has run out of money so I will be leaving that project in January. Might be tutoring again. Who even knows?
Shit that needs to happen:
* fixing my social skill deficiencies. I don't "do" such basic things as small talk and eye contact and really simple things to take care of myself and it HAS TO CHANGE. My "fight or flight" reaction to uncomfortable social situations is "flight" 99% of the time and that's really really goddamn sad and it's why I feel uncomfortable talking outside the Internet. THIS NEEDS TO CHANGE AND I CAN CHANGE IT.
* figuring out what I want to do with myself instead of the million things I don't want to do (and that list has grown to include "be an actuary", which is kind of shitty right now! But every actuary community I've been part of has felt like witnessing a pack of wolves ready to eat each other alive. Maybe this is only true on the Internet, where everyone is trying to sell me something? But my gut instinct says it's more than that. AUGH.) ... oh and then making it happen so that I can finally FINALLY get out of my parents' hair and live my own goddamn life
* fixing my appearance to the outside world. START CARING ABOUT THIS SHIT. Get rid of the facial acne scars (alpha hydroxy acids, sunscreen, and time - or maaaybe chemical peels if I can afford them and they won't interfere with my eczema?), lose the excess weight (cardio, balanced and regular free weights, "eat food; not too much; mostly plants", more proper sleep cycles, and time), figure out a nice haircut, invest in good makeup for appropriate occasions, perhaps invest in a sassier and more awesome wardrobe.
* balance the fandom things. Still want to LP regularly
and write fanfiction
now and then but it cannot consume me (and I can LP in advance which is nice).
* invest in my other hobbies again; start folding origami seriously again; cook for myself more, maybe even bake for work before it's too late for that. stop being afraid of messing up the kitchen; it's yours as much as it's your parents', and frankly they'll appreciate not always doing the work.
* do more than spin my wheels in my relationship; give talent alongside time and treasure
Some good news:Yuletide!
And my very belated fandom_helps thing
. Which means: GHOST IN THE SHELL FANFICTION EXISTS NOW. This is the sight of one Kawa crying happy tears!! Maybe next year I'll get my Math Girls fanfic, but THIS IS GOOD TOO.
Things I got for Christmas: nice clothes for work, beautiful jewelry, random kitchen stuff, and money to pay for my trip here. Also the confidence to deal with my in-laws and my introversion/anxiety. These are all good things.